family & relationships

Adulthood, Admin & A Lot Of Foibles: What To Do With Your Partner As Soon As You Decide To Move In Together

It’s a very exciting time in your life.

You’ve hit the point with your significant other that you want to take the relationship further, much further. And while moving in with each other is solidifying your relationship as being totally serious, for those people who have never done this before, what can you expect?

It’s An Administrative Nightmare

If you’ve never signed a contract for a property before, it certainly feels like the biggest leap you’ll ever make into adulthood. It’s not all difficult, but right up to moving day, there are a lot of things that need to be sorted. Not just the movers, but if you plan on moving into a property together, if you have a lot of stuff that needs decluttering, this is the first task in changing your life for someone else. The term that is ubiquitous with relationships is “compromise”, and this is the first thing that you will have to do for the other person. It can take a lot of time to get your head around this, and while there are so many little things that need doing in preparation, you’d better make sure that it’s worth it!

You Have To Learn To Live With Each Other’s Foibles

Do you know them that well? If not, before you take the leap, you need to spend more time together, so much more time together! You need to get used to each other’s habits, living arrangements, and really get to know what about them drives you crazy. This isn’t to put you off moving in with them, but rather, you need to be sure that you still want to move in with them despite all these things. Nobody’s perfect, but we can be perfect for each other.

It’s A Learning Curve

Maybe you’re living with housemates who aren’t the cleanest, and you think that moving in with your partner will magically solve everything. In fact, the first couple of months are always the most difficult, either because you are treading along metaphorical eggshells for the benefit of the other person, or you’re being open and honest to the point of bluntness. Take the former approach, and you will repress everything, take the latter, and you could be arguing every single night.

When you live with someone, it’s about the “warts and all” experience. After a while, there will be little habits that may be too much for you to bear, and if you’re not able to cope, and you decide to make a point by going to sleep in the garage, the learning curve will be steep for every single one of you that thinks this solves problems!

When we move in with someone that we care about, we can have his idealized notion of the perfect living setup, and everything is rosy, but this is not the reality. As soon as you decide to move in together, this is when you need to really get to know each other. Give it 6 months, and if you can’t stand their habits, but love them regardless, then go for it!

kristangible